The Best Superpower Ever
Feb 20 2010

If I could have any superpower, I think it’d be to know what everyone wanted. Most people don’t seem to have any idea what they want, and it’d be pretty awesome to clear that up for them.

“Yeah, you don’t really want to be a lawyer, you just want to impress your dad. Go write that novel!”

Also, it’d be pretty handy if you were a diplomat, so you’d always know ahead of time what foreign leaders and bureaucrats really wanted. Once I got my super power, I’d fly straight to North Korea and talk to Kim Jong Il. That guy’s got to want some crazy things!

“You don’t really want a nuclear weapon, Mr. Il, you just want to be a porn star.”

It’d also be pretty important to figure out degrees of desire. How awesome would it be to finally be able to choose something off the dessert menu without spending 5 minutes debating between the banana creme pie and the chocolate bread pudding? Banana Creme it is, sir!

Runner Up: Moving individual objects through time.

It’d be pretty cool to move individual objects back and forward in time. Say you accidentally left your tea steeping for too long. BOOM! back that cuppa brown stuff back 2 minutes and you’ve got yourself the perfect brew.

Or you’ve got a favorite shirt, which has pit stains in the armpits. BOOM! Good as new, and just in time.